Rogue Pictures

here are a few pictures of Rogue to get you all started. Huib finally got a chance to upload pictures from the camera. I’ll try and share them this week.

hey Daddy! Can I drive?

Rogue really wishes her breeder could have chosen a cooler day for the reunion.

Wonder if Rogue knows we can see her…

It’s hard being a puppy…

I’ll post more pictures when I get a chance.

Rogue Update

Rogue is now 10 weeks old! She’s been with us almost 2 weeks now and has settled into our lives so easily, that its like she has always been a part of the family.

Here’s what we’ve been up to since day nine.

Day Ten

• slept between Huib & I, as well as on pillows until 6:00am
• sat immediately when Huib asked before putting down her bowl
• chased Canyon & Aspen while I played fetch with them
• climbed the 5 steps outside to reach the water bowl I’d brought out
• no accidents until just after lunch when she missed the puppy pad & peed on the carpet
• sat when I asked for a “sit” before giving her lunch & then dinner
• came immediately 3 out of the 5 times I called her while outside (the other 2 times, she came after a minute, but not directly to my hand)

Day Eleven

• slept until 7:00am before needing out, then slept another 2 hours
• still being asked to “sit” before getting her meals
• slept while we ate lunch at Pizza Hut (people must think we eat out a lot lol!)
• rode in cart at Food Basics (new people, strange sounds, strange smells)
• ate dinner in her new crate (made sure to watch & let her out as soon as she was done)

Day Twelve

• cried off & on while in crate overnight, but stopped when I said “Rogue, enough” & slept until about 5:30am (had 2 accidents in crate overnight)
• ate breakfast in crate, barked/cried after done, so we waited until she was quiet for a few minutes
• had a 2 hour nap with Huib (he worked nights)
• played a bit of tug with Canyon
• played with Canyon in the yard at the new house
• watched Huib & Caleb paint (wanted to help so went on tie down)
• fell asleep while Huib finished sanding & plastering the kitchen
• peed at the door of new house, couldn’t get there fast enough to get her outside
• played with the rest of the pack while Huib mowed the lawn

Day Thirteen

• slept in crate until 5:30am, whimpered just a few times before falling asleep, slept another 4 hours with us in bed (no accidents)
• ate breakfast in crate, before coming out we started working on “wait” (I’d begin opening crate & close it if she moved, called her out when she stayed in one spot)
• jumped on to couch without assistance
• hid under couch for a few minutes after Phoenix barked at her
• watched Huib use the power saw to cut baseboards for our bedroom
• chased Cessna while Caleb threw the toy for her
• napped while Huib hammered nails into the baseboards
• ate dinner in crate & sat quietly until Huib let her out
• still not coming when I call her & jetting off when I come towards her (think it’s because she knows I cannot see to grab her)
• responding well to “Rogue, enough” when we don’t like something she’s doing (chasing cats, barking/growling at others to play, scratching/pulling at carpet, etc)
• independently walked up steps again without too much coaxing (not allowing her to do down)

As you can see, Rogue is experiencing tons and doing quite well. I’m beginning to think this whole reporting her daily adventures is kinda boring for everyone, so I think I might switch to just reporting the more interesting things or doing a weekly recap – what do you think?

Just Over A Week

Rogue has been with us for just over a week. So far we’ve just been working on name recognition and house training. Even though she doesn’t always come to us when we call, she will look over in our direction, so I think name recognition is well on its way. As for house training, it’s definitely a work in progress. We’ve started keeping her on a leash and then only letting her off when she’s just come in from relieving. We’ve put puppy pads by the door to give her an idea of where she needs to be in order to go outside for relief and so far she seems to be using them most of the time when she needs to go and we don’t notice. She’s still having accidents inside, but they seem to be “I really had to go and it just happened where I was” as opposed to “gotta go find somewhere to go”. Once she’s reliably going to the puppy pads when we’re not noticing, we’ll start making the pad smaller and then phase it out completely. I’m really not a fan of the puppy pad idea, but I’d much rather her go on it, instead of going just anywhere she pleases.

Here’s what we did on days seven through nine…

Day Seven
(We really didn’t have much of a chance to do anything since Huib worked nights)

• Slept about 5 hours before needing out and then slept another 2
• Slept under the coffee table while we watched Harry Potter & The Deathly Hollows in surround sound
• Had just 3 accidents – 1 pee & poop just off puppy pad and another poop in a spot she had had one the day before

Day Eight

• Slept 5 hours before needing out, wouldn’t settle after returning to bed (thought she was just being silly so ignored her) – ended up being that she needed out again & had an accident on bed (hate when that happens!)
• Settled under the table quickly while we ate lunch at Weezies
• Walked about a block on leash in “downtown” Kirkland Lake (truck to Dentist’s office)
• Slept under Caleb’s chair while we waited for Huib to finish (sounds of drill, saliva suction, strange smells & saw/met several new people)
• Carried through hospital while Huib looked for his supervisor (met a person in a wheelchair, went on an elevator with speech that announces floors, strange smells & met some nurses)
• Briefly visited Dad & Dawsen, she was a bit overwhelmed at first, but quickly got used to his pushy greeting
• Rode on bare metal wire of child’s seat in Canadian Tire shopping cart (met people & strange smells)
• Had an accident in the truck (really loose stools), Caleb took her immediately over to the grass & she finished
• Rode in cart & then Caleb carried her through grocery store (carts moving around, new people, strange sounds, strange smells)
• Stopped at Canadian Tire gas bar & she pooped again on the grass (non-formed)
• Played with Canyon for about 5 minutes, he’d pretend to grab her neck while she bounced around
• Played with some toys & walked around while Huib helped Caleb saw some hard wood

Day Nine
(we didn’t get much of a chance to do stuff because Huib was called in the night before for a patient transfer & didn’t get back for 18 hours)

• Woke up at 5:30am & refused to return to sleep
• Played with Canyon for a bit outside while on leash
• Continued to corner cats & bark/growl while wagging her tail
• Started learning “sit” (I held the leash while Huib clicked & I treated when her bum went down; then Huib began saying “sit” whenever her bum started to go down; then we said “sit” & she did it on cue 2/3 times)
• Played with Caleb for a bit off leash outside
• Helped celebrate Canyon & Aspen’s birthdays with a mini vanilla cupcake
• Fell asleep in my lap while we watched Austin Powers Gold Member

Since today is still happening, I’ll stop there. I hope it isn’t too boring for everyone to see what sort of days Rogue has.

She’s honestly such an amazing puppy. The only issues we’re having are the usual puppy ones of house training, self-control and nipping. I’ll try and post some pictures from her second day and beyond as soon as Huib gets more than a few hours off from work and/or sleep.

Introducing Rogue

It’s been almost a week since we picked up our little girl. I haven’t had much time to go on the computer for more than a few minutes, so I’ll start this entry by writing a little description of our visit to the breeder.

We woke up at 5:30am to feed and relieve everyone before leaving to get puppy. We decided to bring everyone along because at 2:00pm, we had to be in Guelph for their annual check-ups. We thought it would take about three hours to drive from London to Maidstone, but ended up an hour ahead of schedule so, stopped for some breakfast and then pulled in about twenty minutes early. When we arrived, the puppies were in an outdoor pen so we went over and looked at them all. Karen came out in her pajamas a few minutes later and told us we had arrived during feeding time. She ran inside to get dressed and let her husband, Chris, know we’d arrived. When she was dressed, we helped her carry three puppies into the house.

We put the puppies on the living room floor and observed. Karen had brought in “Pinkie”, “Coal” and “Violet”. We quickly removed “Violet” from the mix because she was more interested in exploring the house, than in interacting with us or the other puppies. Karen wasn’t totally sure which puppy was “Pinkie” so brought “Flower” in as well to double check that she had the correct puppy. The puppies had all chewed each other’s collars off and Chris and Karen hadn’t had a chance to microchip them yet, since they had just returned from a trip to California. “Flower” was cute, but also didn’t seem overly interested in us, so she returned to the outdoor pen for breakfast and play. Once we had it narrowed down to “Pinkie” and “Coal”, we just sat and observed, calling them over once in a while to see how they reacted. Both puppies came running when we called “Puppy, Puppy” and when we were paying attention to one, the other would be licking our arm trying to get some love too. We had a lot of trouble making a decision, but after 45 minutes of observing and interacting, we decided on “Pinkie”. We both really liked “Coal” as well, but Huib left it up to me and I really wanted a girl, so chose “Pinkie” and named her Rogue.

Rogue is the lightest in colour of the seven puppies and already weighs 10.6lbs. She is the colour of butterscotch pudding and has grayish colour eyes that will someday be either a medium or dark brown. She has a very cute face and shows lots of expression. For an eight week old puppy, Rogue is extremely brave and confident.

Once the decision was made. Karen got us to fill out some forms and Chris took Rogue to be micro chipped. Karen will be sending the CKC paperwork in for the puppies when they are sixteen weeks so that everyone has a chance to decide on a name for their fur baby. Before leaving, we met her dam and sire, and let Phoenix, Cessna, Aspen and Canyon meet Rogue. They sniffed her a bit, but only canyon really showed much interest. The girls were a little disgruntled with the whole situation and Phoenix just saw her as another puppy, so no big deal lol!

During our three hour drive to Guelph, Rogue laid in my lap. Some of the time she was looking out the window or watching Huib drive, while other times she was napping. Never once during the drive did she whimper or whine, but looked around when a sound caught her ear. Our first stop was to see Dr B for the older dogs to get their annual check-ups and vaccinations. Rogue hung out with the vet staff, while we were in the examination room with the others. It was a pretty long appointment, so around the one hour mark, Rogue fell asleep under Huib’s chair. We will be bringing Rogue for her first visit with Dr B in a month’s time, but for now we just weighed her and discussed feeding options – she’ll be starting on raw when her kibble from the breeder finishes up.

First Dr B checked over Phoenix. She decided against giving him any further vaccinations and said the heartworm test isn’t really necessary. She still isn’t happy with his ears, so cleaned them out and gave us a new medication to try. She seems happy with him overall, saying that one thing she knows he won’t die of, is heart failure, because his heart is extremely healthy for his age.

She then looked over Canyon. We discussed neutering and she said that her only advice is to get it done by the age of five since that is when most of the cancer issues seem to begin. He had his titers done for Distemper, Parvo and the other diseases that are vaccinated against, other than Rabies – the Rabies titer is extremely expensive so we’ll probably just continue to vaccinate for that. She said he looks great, but might be developing an ear infection, so has asked us to clean it for a week and see where that goes.

Aspen was also pretty straight forward and cooperative. She had her titers done, along with a Heartworm test. We discussed options for treating her incontinence and have decided to try “No More Leaks”, a mixture of different homeopaths that you can buy in a pet store. If that doesn’t seem to help, then we’ll look at other options.

Cessna got a clean bill of health as well, but was a little less cooperative. She really doesn’t like when people touch her paws or tail, so was quite rigid when Dr B went to try taking her blood for the titer and heartworm test. We will be starting her and Aspen on a daily Glucosamine supplement, since they will be eight this year.

After paying our $1,300 vet bill, we headed to the Kitchener Ren’s Pets Depot to visit with Kelly, pick up some toys and a collar for Rogue. Since she doesn’t have her final set of vaccinations, Kelly and her manager carried her around the pet store while we shopped. We picked out an orange, yellow and black collar along with a black leash that we will start using once she learns not to chew it – for now, we’re using two rope style leashes from the dollar store. In addition, we got her a little pink puppy kong, a puppy-sized kong treat bone and a light blue monkey that’s a ball with really long fleece arms and legs. Since it was Canyon’s birthday the week before, we got him two new JW Arachnoid Balls and a hedgehog that has a ball for a torso and canvas limbs that have squeakers in them. We finished off our shopping trip, by picking up some food for my sister’s cat, Branden, and Logan, our calico.

I’ll now do a little bit of point form notes, to start Rogue’s training journal. If you have any suggestions on things I should not have been doing or on things I should be adding to the journal, please let me know. I’m new to this, so am still in the trial and error phase.

Day One
• rode in the truck for almost 6 hours along Highway 401 (air brakes, squealing trucks, strange smells)
• visited the vet office (printer, strange smells, 4 staff members)
• briefly met my former long-term care resident (sounds & smells of the building)
• met four people at the pet store (tons of food & animal smells)
• had an accident on the floor mat of the truck, became wiggly so I put her down
• met two friends we were staying with
• ran to hide after being told off by Phoenix for jumping around his face
• saw a Great Dane & Shih Tzu while out for relief (no direct contact)
• had an accident while sleeping beside Huib on the couch
• used her nails to climb up mesh of play pen we were using as her bed, barked to let us know she was stuck between the play pen & air mattress
• slept 2 hours before needing out
• bounced half way out of play pen so we brought her onto the air mattress, where she slept another 4 hours

Day Two
• ate half a cup of kibble & did both outside 20 minutes later
• hid behind a table when Aspen barked at her
• met 2 teenage girls while being carried through Dollarama
• met manager & waitress & took about 10 minutes on a really short leash to settle under the table at Montana’s
• my cousin carried her around White Oaks Mall & we took a picture of her laying in front of some clothing at The Bay
• discovered my friend’s five bunnies & taunted them for about 15 minutes (play bowing in front of their cages & jumping back when they moved, briefly hiding when she bumped into a table leg)
• climbed on & slid off couch on to Phoenix & he just looked at her
• at last relief, Huib put her on the ground to walk into the elevator & 2 of her legs fell into the gap, Huib helped her out & she approached it curiously

Day Three
• truck broke down (alternator died) & we had to wait for a tow truck & then a stranger drove us back to my friend’s house
• played more with the bunnies, putting her paws against the sides & barking excitedly (Rue actually started playing back)
• rode in the child seat of a cart while we picked up snacks at Food Basics (first on bare wire & then on slippery cardboard)
• met a friend with the 2 Smooth Collies of ADS (hid behind Huib’s chair at first because the collies were excited)
• accompanied us at Dollarama, Giant tiger & Zellers
• rolled around trying to get Cessna’s tags off her collar (I’d put them on to find her easier)
• climbed over a baby gate we had used to block her in the kitchen with a bit of peanut butter in her Kong (we’d decided to leave her for 30 minutes while we got ice cream & came back to find her in the living room with the others)

Day Four
• slept 4 hours before going out for relief & then slept another 4
• met several people while Huib carried her around masonville Mall
• walked down 1 aisle at Costco before settling on a soft/squishy mat in the cart (met several people & had items piled around her)
• carried her around Pet Smart to find some bells for her collar (she’s learned I can’t see & will come just out of my reach & run when I move closer)
• fell asleep in front of a shelf at Chapters
• started keeping her on leash until she goes out because she’s begun relieving inside, even after going out

Day Five
• rode in truck from London to Guelph
• met a friend who has an SSD standard poodle (Kelly is hard of hearing & uses an electric wheelchair part-time)
• met my orthotics guy & his daughter
• went into the University of Guelph to hand in my application (walked up some short steps, rode in an older elevator & met a staff member who uses a scooter)
• stopped to pick up some chicken at Maple Lodge Farms (smells of slaughter house & processing plant)
• met Taz, Caleb & their landlord with her infant son
• Caleb showed her Sage (his Bengal) she barked a bit & wanted to play
• fell asleep under the table at the Lakeview while we ate some lunch
• rode in truck for 7 hours, had a little dribble on the seat after drinking too much water the stop before
• explored the house & chased the cats
• had 2 accidents in the house
• checked out the toys & played with bone that was bigger than her

Day Six
• slept between us, used a leash to keep her from jumping off
• slept about 5 hours before needing out, then slept another 3-4
• got her first taste of raw chicken breast, ate it before the kibble
• explored the house some more, had 2 more accidents
• tried to steal something off a shelf while we walked by at Value Mart
• hung out in the kitchen of the new house while Huib painted & we began taking apart the closet
• started introducing the clicker while feeding lunch (clicked & treated for half) around the 5th click, she started bumping my hand with her nose as if to ask for the noise lol!
• Sat while we trained & then wandered off when she was full, leaving about a hand full
• Attached her to a cupboard while I started pulling apart the closet with a crowbar, whined & barked because she couldn’t come near (didn’t return to her side until she was quiet for a few minutes)
• Laid in a semi-sleep position while Huib finished taking down the closet, banging down drywall & pulling out nails
• Introduced the canvas crate, she barked & cried the whole time she was in it (didn’t let her out until she was quiet for a minute)
• Cornered Laya & Logan because she wanted to play
• Got her head stuck under the china cabinet while exploring, cried until Caleb showed her how to get out
• Played under couch & chair with toys

Sorry for the really, really long entry, but I wanted to get everything down so I’ll remember. I’ll try and update the journal as frequently as possible (we’ll try daily, but no promises).

So far, I think Rogue is absolutely amazing! She’s a lot of fun to have around and extremely smart, so we’ll need to keep a close eye on her. We’ve already taken over sixty pictures, so I’ll begin posting them here.

3 Days To Go!!

Time is flying by!

We’ll be picking up our little family member in three short days!

Huib had some time last night to make our puppy’s first training jacket. we still need to attach the straps and get “Service Dog In Training” embroidered on it, but here’s what it looks like so far.

When the jacket is completely finished, I’ll post another picture, but that may not happen until Friday so you’ll get to see puppy wearing the finished product.

Monday Is For Music – Don’t Stop Believin’

Today I’ve chosen, “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey.

Click here to see the music video.

“Don’t Stop Believin’” was first released on Journey’s 1981 album, “Escape”. The song only reached number six on the UK charts and nine in the US. It’s not Journey’s most successful song, but it’s definitely their most popular. “Don’t Stop Believin’” has been used in several different movies, commercials and television programs. It first appeared in the 2003 movie “Monster”, based on the notorious female serial killer, Aileen Wuornos. Then recently, the song was remade by the cast of Glee and debuted at number five on the Billboard Hot 100 (Song Facts, 2011).

On Friday, I will begin raising and training Cessna’s successor, so I thought this was a wonderful choice.

Since telling friends and family about my decision to owner-train instead of getting Cessna’s successor from a program, I’ve had an ongoing parade of comments against this choice. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had many friends voice their excitement surrounding the arrival of a new fur baby. But, my family and several other friends do not understand why I would want to bring another dog into our home and go through the headache of training my own guide dog.

They also do not believe it’s possible for me to succeed without a program trainer’s involvement.

Thankfully, Huib is not one of these people. He is fully on board with my decision and actually seems mildly excited about the new family member.

I know that the journey will not be smooth sailing. But, I also know Huib and I have the skills and ability to be successful.

So…Journey…I’m going to follow your advice, and keep “believin’ and holdin’ on to the feelin’”.

4 DAYS TO GO!!

Agility

Cessna and Canyon had their second agility lesson on Tuesday. It was pretty sunny, so both were a little slower.

Cessna seemed to remember almost everything she’d learned on the weekend, so we started teaching her jumps and weaves, as well as, starting to ask her to do two jumps before being sent through a tunnel or shoot. Cessna and I learned jumps while taking lessons with Dogs In the Park, so it was nothing for her to start jumping 18 inches right away. We’ll raise the bar a bit further during her next lesson, but the Border Collie lady (Dawn) thought we’d start lower while we were teaching her what’s needed.

I didn’t need Huib’s help as much this time, so he took some pictures.

Cessna loves the Dog Walk and A-Frame, so even before I asked her to “walk on” or “climb” she was running towards the other end.

Cessna was a little warm by the end of her half hour, so she lazily walked through the tire.

Huib had to help me with the weaves, so didn’t get any pictures. For now, Cessna is just being asked to walk through a channel of poles that are about three or so feet apart. As she gets used to the poles, they’ll be brought in closer to one another. Dawn told me that her two year old female (Ruby) is just now starting to perfect her weaves after an entire summer of working on them four days a week, so she said we’ll take it slow. I think the weaves and teeter will be the main areas where Cessna and Canyon will need time and tons of practice before competing. They were both quite nervous walking along the teeter – I held their collars while they walked along and Dawn and Huib held the other end and slowly lowered it as we reached the other side. Cessna was the only one who didn’t try jumping off at the middle, she decided it was best to just get it over with and walk quickly lol!

Canyon didn’t have as great a session, he was really distracted!

He walked confidently along the A-Frame and Dog Walk. Loved running through the tunnels and shoots. And had no issues going through the tire and weaves, but he refused to go over the jumps and continually got off the teeter around the centre.

I really think I need to start using a leash with him when we’re in the arena though, he would do the piece of equipment I asked him to attempt and then run over to this place or that to “mark” or sniff.

Here are a couple of pictures Huib took of Canyon during his lesson.

Dawn is away for the next two weeks – attending a show in Sudbury with her younger dogs (Ruby and Tay) this weekend and then the agility regionals in Sault Ste Marie next weekend with two of her older ones (Gracie and Echo) – so we won’t have another lesson until the beginning of June. I think I’m going to try and build a makeshift jump for Canyon and Cessna to practice.

Before I go though, Dawn has asked me to come and participate in a demo she is hosting Canada Day weekend!! She thinks it is important for others to see how my disability isn’t deterring me from doing agility with my dogs. I know this could be seen as bad (you can insert whatever word you want here) to others, but I don’t mind being used for education – just weeks ago she didn’t think we could do it and now she wants us to show others we can, so this opportunity means a lot to me. I also found out that her sister is blind (or visually impaired) so I’m wondering if this is where a lot of her understanding and/or beliefs have come from. Maybe her sister isn’t as able or willing to participate in traditionally sight-oriented activities. I’m glad I’ve been given this opportunity to teach her that not all blind/visually impaired people are the same.

Fun With Dad

On Monday, Huib took Cessna and the goldens for a swim and hike. I had a migraine and Phoenix had already done a lot so I felt the trip would be too much for both of us.

Here’s what we missed

Canyon found a giant stick in the lake and of course, couldn’t leave it…

Aspen thinks Canyon should share.

Huib finally gets one of the dogs to pose on the rocks for a photo.

Here’s a cool action shot of Canyon shaking water off his coat.

Canyon is such a photogenic boy!

Updates Galore!

I’ve got a bunch of updates to give you all regarding previous posts…

Yesterday I found out that Christina has been given a surgery date!! She will have the Vegas nerve Stimulator implanted on June 3rd at 8:00am!! I’m not sure what caused Sick Children’s Hospital to change their decision regarding the funding cap, but Monique has informed me that it has now been removed, so hopefully more children like Christina will be getting this lifesaving surgery soon! I’ll continue to post updates on Christina when possible.

I wrote earlier
about an entry I had been asked to write for Dawg Business regarding Phoenix’s constant ear infections. It’s now up on the blog and here’s the link.

Next, Huib will be starting a new position at the Kirkland & District Hospital. He will be working part-time in the emergency department and part-time in the intensive care unit, while occasionally filling in on the ward. He is quite excited about this new position because he’ll gain more experience and be forced to work outside his comfort level.

And, if this isn’t enough news, we’re also moving! Around the end of June, we’ll be packing up the gang and relocating to a three bedroom house just outside Englehart. Huib will be closer to the long-term care home he works at, but about ten minutes further away from the hospital. The house has three bedrooms, two are the same size as our current rooms, and the third is smaller, but will make an awesome room for a child we might foster or adopt. The living room and kitchen are pretty much one room so it will be a little harder to keep Cessna from counter surfing while we’re away or keeping Dawsen away from the food in general, but I think the openness will give the dogs even more room to wrestle and play. The only real downfall of this new house is that there is no basement to store our extra clothes and other stuff we won’t be using, so we’ll either need to make sure the shed is well sealed or take stuff to my sister’s house for storage. We really like living in our current home, but the landlord keeps hinting that she’d like to sell at some point in the near future, so Huib decided to start looking for a new place before she could ask us to leave. The woman who owns this new place seems quite nice, so I’m hoping it will work out a little better for us all.

Finally, I may have already announced this, but Huib and I got a call a few weeks ago from Temiskaming Child and Family Services regarding our application to foster. I called the woman back and she has passed our file on to the adoption workers because we have decided to “foster with a view” instead of just foster, because after a year of waiting we think adoption is going to be our ultimate goal. We’re now waiting for the adoption worker to contact us so we can start the necessary home study.

Stay tuned!!

Everyone’s got An Opinion

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

The above quote, was taken from a Twitter feed I follow, that sends out random quotes about life. I know I’ve been blogging a lot about things I’ve read, that were inspiring, but I’m hoping everyone enjoys the break from hearing solely about the fur babies.

When I read the above quote a few days ago, I began thinking about my aunts and how they seem to find it necessary to criticize other family member’s life choices, but seem to overlook the fact that their decisions haven’t been much better.

I know constantly being told what to do or what you’re doing wrong, is just part of being the “younger” generation of a family, but my sister and I seem to be even more of a target now that we’re older and Mom’s not around to defend us. I try and keep my distance. Try not to have to be in a situation where I’ll be alone with an “interrogator”, but sometimes it’s just not possible. Maybe it’s partly because I can’t see well enough to know when others are leaving the room. Or maybe it’s because I’m just too nice, but it always seems to happen at a family gathering and it’s gotten to the point where I dread having to attend.

My family thinks Huib is the greatest guy ever. They have no complaints when it comes to him and my decision to get married, but they still find ways of sticking their two cents into our relationship. They find it necessary to give me advice on having a successful marriage – which they haven’t succeeded in doing themselves, so I’m not sure how their advice is going to help me. They like criticizing the way I interact with Huib and ask why he doesn’t want to go outside with the “boys” rather than just sitting with me – because that’s what all guys do right? And then when I’m thoroughly annoyed, one of the aunts begin asking if we want kids and when I explain that things just haven’t worked out the way we’d like, they proceed to ask if we’ve actually been trying….well, isn’t that self-explanatory? AND is it really your business? I guess it just seems strange to them that their own children could be popping out babies without any real effort, but Huib and I are having trouble.

Then, after all that is over, we come to the weight questions… So you’ve gained some weight since the last time I saw you… – you don’t think I’ve noticed? Have you looked at your own belt size? Oh, the things I would love to say if I weren’t a caring and patient person lol! When I just sit there with a look of shock on my face, someone will proceed to begin advising me on how to lose the extra weight, which would be fine if they, themselves weren’t also fighting a weight issue. It seems as though our family’s genes just aren’t conducive to being thin.

It’s funny to observe them though when the tables have turned. When people begin criticizing them or asking them questions and giving “advice”. They just sit there and go red, not out of embarrassment, but anger because they see the questions as a personal attack. This is when one usually ends up crying or leaving because someone hurt their feelings or offended them.

Do you have any people in your life that you wish could take a moment, and just look in the mirror?