Phoenix Has Taken Flight

I know most of you probably already know, but Phoenix, left us on Thursday afternoon.

I’ve lost…

My beloved companion.

My loyal friend.

And, the one who taught me the value of unconditional love.

It was a tough decision, but I knew it was what he wanted. Dr B felt he was telling us he was tired and needed to rest. She checked him over thoroughly and found nothing obviously wrong, except that his heart was beating rapidly. Huib says his heart was probably filling up with toxins from not eating and using up his own energy reserves. Dr B told us she could do some tests, to check for cancer or give him pain killers to see if he improved, but she felt he had already made his decision.

Phoenix has always lived his life on his own terms, so it just seems fitting that he would be the one to decide when to leave.

It’s been a rough couple of days, but I know he’s enjoying his new home with friends and family of both the human and canine variety.

I know he’ll always be with me in spirit.

And I know it will take time for the wounds to heal.

It’s just lonely around here without hearing him shuffling around or snoring lightly in the night.

Rest in peace my sweet, old friend.

We’ll all miss you, but know you’re in a better place.

I’m still here

I stood beside your bed last night
I came to have a peek
I could see that you were crying
You found it hard to sleep
I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear
“It’s me, I haven’t left you,
I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour the tea
You were thinking of the many times
Your hands reached down to me
I was with you at the shops today
Your arms were getting sore
I longed to take your parcels
I wish I could do more
I was with you at my grave today
You tend it with such care
I want to reassure you
That I’m not lying there
I walked with you toward the house
As you fumbled for your key
I gently put my paw on you
I smiled and said “It’s me.”
You looked so very tired
And sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know
That I was standing there
It’s possible for me to be
So near you everyday
To say to you with certainty
“I never went away.”
You sat there very quietly
Then you smiled, I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening
I was very close to you.
The day is over…
I smile and watch you yawning
And say “Good night, God bless,
I’ll see you in the morning.”
And when the time is right
For you to cross the brief divide
I’ll rush across to greet you
And we’ll stand side by side
I have so many things to show you
There is so much for you to see
Be patient, live your journey out
And then come home to be with me

Comments

  1. Oh, this post made me cry. I am so sorry that Phe has left, but as you said, he always did everything on his own terms. Keeping you in my thoughts. *hug*

  2. I know I told you on twitter, but I hate when people use it now instead of actually leaving comments on blogs, but I’m really sorry to hear about phoenix. You know you did all you could for him, and you couldn’t have done anymore.
    I hope the rest of the dogs find ways to cheer you up.
    Jen and OJ

  3. I am so very sorry for your loss. Words never quite express the feelings we have when someone we know is going through this very difficult loss of a guide partner. Though we all knew this was coming, its never easy when it comes.
    Met also made the decision for me- though I had to be the one who said *its time*. It was so hard for me to come home from my folks place where we had the vet meet us. I came home to a completely empty apartment – it was just me and what ever sounds go on here that I am oblivious to.
    The poem you used is one of my favorites that I actually had on my website at one point- might still be there.
    I am grateful that you have your current guide Cessna and Rogue to help you through the hard times in your grief. One thing I learned through my grief with Met is that there is no timetable of how long it will last. When I least expect it little bits of it still show their face nearly 4 years later. Don’t let anyone pressure you to stop grieving.
    Though Phoenix was not actively working before being called to the bridge, the gift of independence given, can never be taken lightly. We all who have been down this road, feel for what you are going through right now.
    HUGS
    Please take care of you and know that I feel your loss today

  4. Thank you everyone. the support I’ve been given via Facebook, Twitter and this blog is beyond anything I could have imagined. Phoenix was one special boy and so loved by everyone who ever met him. Even friends who met him in the past year are feeling loss, he just had a way of making everyone smile.

    I know it will take time for things to go back to a regular schedule here, but it’s just so tough to find the motivation to do much of anything right now.

Speak Your Mind

*